It’s true. Something about stringing words together to create sentences and then stringing sentences together to create paragraphs, for me, is just pure TORTURE.
So why the hell start a blog you ask? Great question. I’m glad you are paying attention, (especially since you’re only 4 sentences into this post.)
The answer is, I recently realized why I hate to write so much. IT SCARES THE LIVING BEJEEZUS OUT OF ME. Writing is so damn permanent. It captures your inner dialogue & thoughts and then lingers around for someone to pick up, read, and react/respond/not respond/laugh/misunderstand/pick-apart/whatever. And it’s personal. All of the writing I have ever done (journals, school assignments, songs), always left me with this looming feeling of impending judgement. I never understood why people had this thing with locking up their diaries or trying to hide them. Because my thought always was, “If you don’t want people to know your thoughts, DON’T WRITE THEM DOWN.” So for the most part I didn’t, and when I did, every last word terrified me.
But recently I’ve been experiencing this strong need to share. There’s this voice inside my head screaming “I’VE GOT SOME SHIT TO SAY!” And no matter how much I try to ignore it, it’s not getting any quieter. This rather annoying voice has made me realize that it’s about time to get over this fear of writing. It’s not constructive and I truly believe in some cases, it has held me back. Well, BLOG it is then. Not only will I be writing, but I will throw it out into the wild blue yonder-webs for all to read –oh yeah, and comment.
My goal is to post at least once a week on this blog. I have lots of ideas. They range from completely normal/boring to WTF. My hope is that some of you are at least entertained while I share these ideas with you and overcome my fears in the process.
Blog post #2 complete. Nica, (1) – Fear of writing (0).